Skip to content

The wrong things to say about music

January 27, 2009

When the latest uber cool sounds are are being bigged-up from Billboard to the posh papers, it’s vitally important not to be seen to be falling off the bandwagon. But, inspired by The Word magazine’s Rob Fitzpatrick’s pitch perfect dissection of the latest critically lauded but definitively lousy Kanye West long player 808s & Heartbreak, here’s a guide to saying the exactly the wrong things to zeitgeist-riding trendsters.

1. See that Burial – I think he sounds a bit like a Moby demo doesn’t he…
2. I reckon Elton John would do a great version of Hallelujah…
3. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with liking Bon Jovi…
4. Is it just me or does Amy Winehouse sound like a seal?
5. Doesn’t UB40’s production sound great on Lily Allen records?
6. Hasn’t someone noticed the Hoosier’s first single is Mr Blue Sky and the second is Lovecats?
7. Franz Ferdinand may be clever, but they get away with murder… just like Talking Heads did.
8. Dizzee Rascal production sounds like there’s a small mammal running amok in a synth…
9. Accompanied by a theatrical look over the shoulder for a hidden candid camera, “The White Stripes… what? Really.”
10. “I have spent the last 36 years quite happily without seeing (delete where applicable) Gang of Four/Magazine/Zeppelin/The Eagles/The Doors, and I’m not paying £150 just so I can tick them off a cuntin’ Mojo magazine Must See Before Death list.”
11. What is it about Scousers and sea shanties?

Advertisements
One Comment leave one →
  1. February 21, 2009 11:31 pm

    12. Gossip are shite or so I’ve heard13. Have The Fray got Athlete’s foot or is it Keane’s piano?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

wholehoggblog

@wholehogg

breakingoutofthetemplesofculture.wordpress.com/

Arts, Health and Wellbeing in the Community

Culture, Space, Technology: A Platial Journal

A 'Platial' perspective on daily life

Record Shop Shots

Looking for a vibe on a cheap fix

Boston College Subpoena News

The Belfast Project, Boston College and a Sealed Subpoena

Bella Caledonia

it's time to get above ourselves

Enda Guinan | Social

Sensible Social Media

two step

two of us in step, most of the time

Voice of the Belly

It's just a blog, not a tablet of stone

Little Sheffield Guitar Studio

Professional Guitar Tuition in the heart of Meersbrook, Sheffield

Tales from inside the age of digital news

An ever-changing journey through digital news media

W[r]ite Noise

Belfast-based arts and culture musings

Shakespeare Couldn't Email

And by and by clean starved for a look...

Irish Election Literature

... what you maybe meant to keep...

The Broken Elbow

A View of the World from New York and Belfast (Public PGP Key: 210D6F47)

%d bloggers like this: