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Things I saw and heard in Liverpool today

February 14, 2009

* A woman so artificially tanned she looked emblamed
* A lad with a Scouse accent so strong he sounded Spanish
* Two girls who didn’t have enough time to get dressed in anything other than Ugg boots and pyjamas but who had had enough time to apply immaculate full make-up
* A group of North Face floppy cap clad teenage lads who communicated with the words ‘Izrite, lid’ for nearly a whole minute
* A scally with the least scally name in history – “Eh Tobias lad, let’s get a Sayers, lid.” Tobias?
* A group of disingenuous creationist idiots

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