Skip to content

The funniest football book this Christmas:Harry Pearson

October 20, 2009

GUARDIAN sport columnist and former When Saturday Comes writer Harry Pearson has re-released the funniest book on football this Crimbo, ‘Dribble:The Unbelievable Encyclopaedia of Football’.
It’s brilliant, just got it this evening and have been in hysterics.
Pearson has produced THE funniest piece of football writing when reflecting on the signing of the artistic southern Spanish wing meister Reyes by Arsenal a fewyears back.
But ‘Dribble’ packs his gag a paragraph style into a tremendous book. I’ve just got finished sections A-D and to use the language of my students ‘am well impressed’ and Pearson is a ‘complete legend, man’.

Some examples:
CONSUMMATE PROFESSIONAL
‘Sometimes when sports people speak it is necessary to interpret carefully what they say. The phrase consummate professional, for example,is short-hand for for, ‘He was so peripheral I didn’t even notice him until he thumped that bloke when the ref wasn’t looking.’

and

DADAGE
‘The era of a football fan’s life in which he or she starts to sound like his/her father. Usually begins in the mid-forties and is characterised by a tendency to say, ‘Cristiano Ronaldo? He’s not fit to lace George Best’s boots’, ‘There just aren’t the characters in the game any more and ‘Call that a tackle! He couldn’t tackle a fish supper.’

THE WELL-ROUNDED MAN
‘Well, you know the quality of light in Valencia is extraordinary, it’s almost as if the very air is alive – GET STUCK IN BROWN, YOU FANNY MERCHANT – I think it’s something to do with flat landscapes and water because, and this will sound funny – WHERE’S YOUR FLAG, LINESMAN, WEDGED UP YOUR ARSE? – the only other place I’ve
encountered anything like it was on the salt marshes near Holkham. It was early evening, a thunderstorm was brewing and it gave this amazing golden tinge to everything that was positively ethereal – JESUS CHRIST, WILKO, YOU BLIND BANDY-LEGGED POOF – and really quite enchanting.’

Advertisements
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

wholehoggblog

@wholehogg

breakingoutofthetemplesofculture.wordpress.com/

Arts, Health and Wellbeing in the Community

Culture, Space, Technology: A Platial Journal

A 'Platial' perspective on daily life

Record Shop Shots

Looking for a vibe on a cheap fix

Boston College Subpoena News

The Belfast Project, Boston College and a Sealed Subpoena

Bella Caledonia

Scotland's 5th Estate

Enda Guinan | Social

Sensible Social Media

two step

two of us in step, most of the time

Voice of the Belly

It's just a blog, not a tablet of stone

Little Sheffield Guitar Studio

Professional Guitar Tuition in the heart of Meersbrook, Sheffield

Tales from inside the age of digital news

An ever-changing journey through digital news media

W[r]ite Noise

Belfast-based arts and culture musings

Shakespeare Couldn't Email

And by and by clean starved for a look...

Irish Election Literature

... what you maybe meant to keep...

The Broken Elbow

A View of the World from New York and Belfast (Public PGP Key: 210D6F47)

%d bloggers like this: