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A history of Liverpool in 100 statements

February 17, 2012

Stolen shamelessly from Frank McNally’s wonderful Irish Times column ‘An Irishman’s Diary’ here is my History of Liverpool in 100 Statements. It is based on the above hyperlinked story and its earlier counterpart, A History of Ireland in 100 euphemisms, which is one of the funniest things I have ever read.

All suggestions welcomed.
Please note football fans, this is not a chart, merely 100 phrases I threw together, so if a blue/ red phrase is too far down/ too far up, it is by accident not design.

A history of Liverpool in 100 statements

A working class hero is something to be
When you walk, through the storm
And the Evertonians have gone berserk. I haven’t seen a goal like that in a Merseyside derby for years
Got a bifter?
A bad wool
Do one
You got cob on?
Plazzy scouser
The pool of life
So fare thee well, my own true love
Here the weary are at rest
Ar ey you
They do though, don’t they though
How much is that doggie in the window?
We speak with an accent exceedingly rare, Meet under a statue exceedingly bare
If you want a cathedral, we’ve got one to spare
Paddy’s Wigwam
Liverpool…has become a wonder of the world. It is the New York of Europe, a world city rather than merely British provincial.
The Truth
If you are first you are first. If you are second you are nothing.
The Streets of Kenny
Yer blert
Plink Plink
Altogether Now
Wondrous Place
That immense City which stands like another Venice upon the water
Above Us Only Sky
Four Lads That Shook the World
Where it all began
Cellar Full of Memories
I have heard of the greatness of Liverpool but the reality far surpasses my expectation
A Pub on Every Corner
Posh Side
We’re not racists, we only hate Mancs
We’re not English, we are Scouse
Blackler’s Rocking Horse
Go ‘ead
I love the bones of ‘er
Sweatin’ cobs
Manchester Man, Liverpool Gentleman
Chairman Mao has never seen a greater show of red strength
What a beaut
The People’s Club
Mersey Pride
Don’t buy The Sun
The discoverer of America was the maker of Liverpool
The riots
You to me are everything
In the town, where I was born
Hold your plums
Damon and Debbie
In bulk
Got any Gary’s, lad?
Sittin’ out

Jarg kecks
Boxing at the stadium
Unemployed, love the Floyd
Liverpoole is one of the wonders of Britain
Purple Aki

Getting off at Edgehill
Single to town
What’s the bobby, lad?
Calm down, calm down

Sound as a pound

Kid, kidder
Lad, lid
Any spares?
Out the game
A grotesque chaos… a Labour Council, a Labour Council
Swimming cozzie
Bitten by a mozzie
Going the hozzie
Bad muzzie 
In his cups
By the banks of the royal blue Mersey
This is Anfield
Self Pity City
On the ale
He’s a divvy when he’s on the bevvy
Barm pot
Bag ‘ead/ Smack ‘ead/ On the gear
Fly away/ casey
Tuppence ‘cross the Mersey
Arl arse
Cunard Yanks
Is right
One Night in Istanbul
Aintree Iron
 ‘cause this land’s the place I love, and here I’ll stay
Tell me ma, me ma
Soft lad

EDIT: Mike Hill suggested a couple of crackers, one of which was an inexcusable miss.
– Gizza Job
– Joey made the Swiss roll

2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 17, 2012 12:52 am

    How about the timeless 'Eeeeeeeeee'

  2. March 11, 2013 4:19 am

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